Monthly Archives: April 2003


A new quiz! And I even answered the questions *truthfully*! It could be a trap, though…

You are The Admiral Ackbar!

Take the “Which FARK Cliche Are You” quiz!



Lava lamp update: Another Co-Worker just came in to see The Boss and noticed the lamp. He asked, �What�s inside those things?� The Boss answered, �Liquid hot magma�, which caused me to spray my Diet Mountain Dew.

Then the SUV owner came in and said, �So that�s what�s on your desk. I kept seeing flashes of red and thought your office was on fire.� He mentioned that he had a blue and white lava lamp and I thought it would be fun if he put his out on his own desk, but The Boss overruled my idea. He claimed that it might get knocked over by the customers, but I said no one had tumped over the nice Apple Studio display SUV had on his desk. �Even so, a lava lamp isn�t as sturdy as that monitor�, he replied. I think he just wants to be the only person here with the fancy lamp.


Lava lamp update: D. came into the Boss� office and saw the lamp for the first time. She counseled him against leaving it on all day as it would lead to disintegration of the material inside the �new lamps�. He told her he has had this lamp for twenty years and that if he leaves it on too long, the lava just stops flowing.

She then claimed to be reminded of her hippy days with her friends called The Funky Bunch. I wondered if they were called The Funky Bunch because they were so darn groovy or because they all needed showers.


Lava lamp update: The Angry Old Woman came into the Boss� office and saw the lamp for the first time. She said, �Is that supposed to do something?� He answered that the lamp was already doing what it was supposed to do. She asked why the lamp is here at work on his desk. He answered that it was something he liked and that he found it to be soothing. She said that he needed to get her one and place it on her desk, because she needed something that would relax her at work.

Somehow, I don�t think the addition of a simple lava lamp will help her relaxation levels or improve her morale.


I rented Eye of the Beholder this weekend, but no one would watch it with me once they figured out it starred Ewan McGregor. What a big bunch of whiners! All I kept hearing was, �That�s the only reason you rented this movie!� Well, duh! They all came back to watch Mel Brooks� Robin Hood – Men in Tights, which did have numerous funny moments.

The Boss has brought in a red lava lamp and has placed it on his desk. Now I don�t need to buy one for my own use at home, as I can watch this one from my chair eight hours a day.


I was watching Star Wars Episode II again last night, and this time I was trying to match up scenes with my theory that Mace Windu is actually a dark side helper. I think he is there to block Yoda’s perception of the Force (“The dark side clouds everything”). If he were in league with Palpatine, everything he said and did was a great manipulation of Yoda, Anakin and Obi-Wan. The only scene I couldn’t previously figure out was why he would kill Jango Fett on Geonosis. But last night it all fit together…when Obi-Wan transmits his report from Kamino and tells Windu and Yoda he’s tracked down the bounty hunter they wanted, Yoda says to bring him back for questioning. If Fett ever really DOES get brought back in for questioning, he would be able to tell the Council that Windu and Count Dooku are working together…thus, Windu kills him before he has a chance to talk. I look forward to this being revealed or disproved in Epsisode III.

Good news: determined that the box gutters on the house are not to blame for the leak in the kitchen.
Bad news: found out the “roof” over the kitchen consists of only the wood framing of the addition, one roll of tar paper, and a set of shingles. No plywood sheathing, no barrier to the outside. It is a complete miracle that the entire room doesn’t leak every time it rains.
More bad news: apparently I’m not the first owner in this house to deal with the leak. After the light fixture over the sink fell out yesterday, I cut out a section of the ceiling. The “original” ceiling was lath and plaster, and that was there….BUT, someone had screwed lengths of thick wood directly to the plaster in order to prop up the bulging part, then slapped up a sheet of drywall over the whole thing. The ceiling is noticeably lower than the other ceilings of other rooms in the house, but I thought it was a function of being an addition to the back of the structure, not because someone was trying to hide a major defect right before the sale of the house. The “remodeled kitchen” was a point repeatedly brought up by the realtor.


I added a picture of my cute Neopet at the bottom of the page. Some people are addicted to drugs, some are addicted to cigarettes….I am addicted to online gaming. All gaming, actually. This has been true since I was ultra young and my aunt had Pong for her television. I was fascinated at the idea that so much fun could be interactive. Of course, Pong was lame, but it laid the groundwork for my…erm…problem. Next came the use of the video arcade as a babysitter when my parents would go to the mall. I’d get five dollars to turn into quarters and I never moved out of that arcade. The entire mall could have been on fire and I would have still been in the arcade, destroying the aliens and saving the planet. Then came the boyfriend with four older brothers who’d all purchased an Atari system and oodles of games for home use. The oldest brother lived at home and went to school at the local college, so he had access to the mainframe. We would dial up the mainframe on the phone, then, when the system answered, jam the receiver into a modem coupling hooked to a Commodore 64 with a tape drive so we could play a text-based multi-user space port game. Yes, when my other friends were out in the real world learning about life, relationships, mood-altering substances and the like, I was engrossed in finding out how to corner the market on whatever commodity I was transporting in my space ship.


Yesterday, I thought it would be fun to get drunk and cut the grass. It sure did make the lawn mowing process more pleasant, but the headache I got later just made me regret doing the experiment. No more of that Wine-In-A-Box for me. I�m going back to tequila.

I am glad it is Friday and the final day of the workweek. Today, I got this e-mail from a friend at the office that said, �did u know�we work with the most jacked up bunch of friggin idiots this side of hell?� He manages to clearly distill the essence of our workplace into a fifteen-word sentence, while it has taken me paragraphs to attempt to get the same point across.

I was reading the Final Meal Requests made by inmates on Death Row in Texas.

What I found interesting was the education level and occupations of those on death row. The majority hadn’t finished high school, and of those who did, many had gone to a trade school and were employed in a blue collar-type job. The majority had killed police officers (and most of the time, the officer wasn’t looking for them…it was just a routine traffic stop and the driver started shooting). One guy had been indicted for fondling a small girl, and while he was out on bail, went to her house and murdered her aunt and grandmother so they couldn’t testify at the fondling trial….so instead of 5 years for child whatever, he gets executed for double murder. What’s the thought process behind some of these actions?

Of the men (though there was at least one woman in the list) who had “college educations” or were otherwise employed as say, engineers, accountants, white collar workers, etc….those had committed “crimes of passion”. Like, “came home to find wife in bed with two men; went crazy; shot wife, both men, aunt who shared the house, neighbor who came to see if everything was OK, milkman happening to make a delivery” etc.