Monthly Archives: June 2004


The Almighty Cthulhu almost withered away in the absence of a true photo for Wednesday Wreck of the Week today, so he searched and searched until he found the Mother of All WWOTW photos. This fellow got pictures of EVERYthing.

Pacific Beach, June 14, 2004

Big thanks to TAC for his WOTW submission!!



Man. I completely forgot that I was going the celebrate June 22 as the one year anniversary of the day I linked to Brian Damage. My life hasn’t been the same, since.


It’s time once again for Wednesday Wreck of the Week!

This week I have no actual accident footage, so I present to you “The Ringer Toss” from the LebowskiFest held in Louisville, KY.


With all this talk about Paige Davis, I thought I would take this opportunity to share my Personal Story about her.

I rode the school bus with Paige Davis all through seventh grade. All the way TO school AND all the way home FROM school. I even remember where the bus stopped to pick her up and drop her off.

There. You. Go.


The County Fair started last night. Y’all don’t know what you’re missing. To remedy that, I thought I’d hit the highlights from this week’s schedule.

Monday: Chess Tournament @ 6; Demolition Derby @ 7:30. I heart the Demolition Derby.

Tuesday: Sheep Show @ 4:30; Demolition Derby and Horse Pull @ 7:30. Decisions, decisions.

Wednesday: Tractor Driving @ 7:30; Elephant Show @ 9:30. Real elephants should be in bed by 9:30.

Thursday: Decorated Poultry @ 7; Tractor and Truck Pull @ 7:30. I heart the Tractor and Truck Pull.

Friday: Gaited Horse Show @ 6:30; Rabbit Show @ 7. What if the horses aren’t finished by 7?? Can I make both shows?

Saturday: Beef Show @ 6; Tractor and Truck Pull Championships @ 7:30; Greased Pig Contest @ 10. The winners of the Greased Pig Contest get $50 or the pig they catch.


The Almighty Cthulhu and his Ride of Choice:


I can’t go to the other class reunion because I’d have to take a vacation day. Vacation is never approved during the last two weeks of the Fiscal Year. Never mind that my boss approved some vacation time for his own self today, since it is his son’s birthday. Things that are important to some people aren’t important to others.

The big reunion is held on a Saturday night at the Elks Lodge. There’s an open bar, dinner (which includes a huge amount freshly grilled steaks, presented in giant plastic garbage cans marked “Rare”, “Medium” and “Well”), dancing to great music, and then there’s karaoke once everyone is well-lit.

I went to one of my own reunions and it was Dullsville. No name tags, bad food, bad DJ, and worst of all, it was in some dark conference room of a Holiday Inn.


Today I drove to The Big City to attend a surprise 75th birthday party for my Aunt B. The party was a surprise for her, though turning 75 wasn’t. Aunt B is my mother’s older sister. Uncle B was also there – he is my mother’s younger brother. Uncle B’s only son came over to me while I was snacking on some carrots and said, “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

Me: Yeah, I know! I haven’t seen you since your wedding. Or maybe Memaw’s funeral.
Cousin J: This family doesn’t get together often enough. We should have seen each other at the last big thing.
Me: What was the last big thing?
Cousin J: Ummm…. it was when our cousin L’s daughter got married.
Me: Oh, yeah. I didn’t go to that.
Cousin J: Me, neither.
Me: …

I stopped at a gas station halfway home to put a few gallons in the new truck, as I was down to a quarter of a tank. Usually, when I stop for gas for the Honda, I engage the pump handle, then wash the windshield. By the time I get finished and walk back to the pump, the handle has clicked off, the tank is full and I’m $15-20 poorer, depending on gas prices. Today, when I walked back to the pump, my jaw dropped. Thirty-five gallons had already poured in to the tank and the dollar figure was well over fifty. AND it was STILL filling! I shut off the pump and staggered to the cashier in a daze.