Monthly Archives: July 2004

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To all my friends in New York, I would be deeply indebted to you if you managed to get to NYC by 7:00 PM this evening to snap some photos of Ewan McGregor as he and Charley Boorman wrap up their ’round the world motorcycle tour.

Because, you know, everyone IN New York actually lives IN New York City, or within a reasonable radius. As such, it should be a snap for y’all to just flop on over and pick up a few autographs or maybe tear off his motorcycle jacket in a crazed fan frenzy and mail it to me.

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On Tuesday, I went out to eat with Barrie at The House of Thai. Her other “real life” friends had counseled her against meeting “one of those internet people”, because I could have been a hatchet-wielding psycho. It turned out that Barrie packed more blade power than me, but she did let me hold it in my hand. I was awed by the heft and length of her instrument.

Our purses really hit it off. They sat next to each other on the park bench after Barrie and I finished eating.

Several hours later, we still hadn’t exhausted all our numerous topics of conversation. That may have been because we discussed our ensorcellment with The Hair extensively, barely leaving room to discuss anything else.

Here we are!

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It’s time once again for Wednesday Wreck of the Week!

Today’s specimen was discovered at an expired parking meter. I was going to wait around and get the After shot once the traffic officer placed the ticket under the windshield wiper, but I thought I might have to answer some questions, so I left the area.

I tell you, it’s just sheer luck that there’s no Minimum Standard imposed on cars in our area. I’m always surprised at what folks consider road-worthy, like this sad Toyota with the headlights barely held inside the chassis. Maybe they just drive during daylight hours?

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CK’s capacious pied-a-terre (also known as the neighboring townhouse that has stood vacant for years) has just been rented and she met the new tenants this morning. She was going to ask why they had decided to make The Shrieking Shack their new home when the lady frantically asked her if her place had been burglarized.

CK: Not this week.

New Neighbor Lady: …

New Neighbor Man: Some guy tried to get in our house last night.

As CK explained the routine housejackings that occur in the complex, the couple began to ponder methods of self-defence.

New Neighbor Lady: He wouldn’t let me bring the rifle when we moved.

New Neighbor Man: No, honey. I done TOLE you that the robber can take it away from ye by grabbin’ on to the gun barrel. What we NEED is a new pistol.

New Neighbor Lady: We ain’t never lived in the city before, so we ain’t used to all this.

New Neighbor Man: I’m gonna sit at the front door and jes’ wait for that man to come back. And then I’m gonna use THIS on ‘im!

The dude unsheathed a knife with a nine-inch blade and waved it through the air. CK thought about unsheathing her machete and saying, “Now THIS is a knife”, but instead alerted the New Neighbor Man about the City Ordinance that forbids carrying concealed weapons without a permit.

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I know I said I was on the lookout for new hiking boots, but there seems to be only one style of boot that’s ubiquitous in my area.

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To assuage everyone who wrote me asking about the freakish hair color in the Mexican Restaurant bathroom (and those of you who wondered, but were too timid to say anything), here’s a picture of my hair with proper outdoor lighting. Now, it still may be freakish, but it’s no longer got a blue tint from the dim fluorescents of the public crapper.

This photo was taken just last week, and captures our subject in her natural setting.

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The name for Episode III of the Star Wars movies was announced at Comic-Con in San Diego this past Saturday. The circle is now complete. The Revenge of the Sith should be released on May 19, 2005. I’ve already scheduled my vacation day.

And don’t everyone write in telling me that it should be called Epsisode VI, because we all know that the first film released was titled Episode IV – A New Hope. I find your lack of faith disturbing.

And no writing in to tell me how much better The Lord of the Rings is. Clearly, you LOTR people must have given in to hate and were drawn in by the Dark Side of the Force.

I cannot help myself. I heart all things Star Wars. I’m such a geek.

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I’ve been thinking about the 9/11 Commission and its findings that each of the intelligence-gathering entities didn’t share enough information to stop what happened. I agree, but still stand by my original statement, which is: Unless someone out there knew the exact date and exactly what was going to unfold, what happened on 9/11 was going to happen. Remember back in the days before 9/11? If someone in the government had said, “Yo, everybody! We’re going to shut down every single aircraft in the United States today, because there’s a rumor that some big terrorist act is planned”, people would have gone NUTS! Yes, 9/11 might have been prevented, but NO ONE would have ever believed that it could have occurred in the first place!

But, I didn’t come here today to talk about that. I wanted to let everyone know that since my vacation time was approved, I’ve signed up for a backcountry class in Yellowstone National Park. I’ve been to YNP twice, once in 1999 and once in 2001, but both times I mostly stayed on the beaten path. I’d like to see more “behind the scenes”, but don’t want to hike and camp in the backcountry by myself. This way, I’m with a group, and when the bear attacks, I only have to outrun the person next to me.