In the spirit of the holidays, I decided to take up my brother’s invitation to eat a big meal at his house today.
A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Capp told me his brother invited us out to his house, but that he’d declined, based on the alarming number of cats and screaming babies that appear at all their family gatherings. Then, Dr. Evil called me to invite us out to Mr. Capp’s brother’s house. I told her we’d already declined the offer and had planned to stay home, away from the infectious crowds. She announced that since I would be cooking for Thanksgiving, then she’d just come over to our place.
To make matters weirder, Mr. Capp went to the doctors’ office and they admitted him to the hospital to treat him for pneumonia. They said he’d be an inpatient through the end of the week. Dr. Evil called me to say I had no reason NOT to show up at Mr. Capp’s brother’s house for Thanksgiving, now that Mr. Capp wouldn’t be there.
I drove up to The Big City for the 2:00 PM meal. My mother greeted me at the door and loudly announced, “Wow! You look great! You’ve lost so much weight!!” She got her megaphone out to make sure everyone heard her as she kept following me around and saying things like, “How much weight have you lost??” (10,000 pounds was my answer, but it didn’t dissuade her) “Look at how much weight you’ve lost!” and “I can’t believe how good you look!” Seriously, can people not just say that you look nice and leave it at that? No, she poked my dad awake from the big nap he was taking in a chair and loud-whispered, “She’s lost weight!” each time I walked past. She even pulled my sweater up and put her fingers in the waistband of my pants to demonstrate how much room there was.
Fifteen minutes later, my mother pulled me aside and asked, “Why are you so grouchy?” Sigh.
When I left the party, I drove over to the hospital and took Mr. Capp a plate of Thanksgiving food so that he wouldn’t have to settle for the dry turkey sandwich sent from the cafeteria. He said he might get to come home tomorrow, but that they’re keeping him until they know what sort of respiratory infection he had.
I plan on sleeping late and seeing absolutely no one tomorrow. Which is probably what I should have done today.