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This morning I had to walk over to Human Resources to speak with my “Employment Specialist”. When I arrived, she showed me to a conference table and handed me a Valentine’s Day cookie {which may end up being the best perk I get out of all this}.

She asked, “How do you FEEL about all this?”

I answered, “Like a pawn being crushed under the political wheel of power-grabbing Administrators at the University.”

She blinked.

I said, “I’m sure other people whose positions have been eliminated on the whim of an Administrator who has spread misinformation about their departments feel exactly the same way.”

She stood up and said she was going to get some coffee. I was sure she was going to call Security.

When she returned, she told me that I have to enter an active application in the online employment system to be considered for Unemployment compensation after June 30. She asked why I didn’t already have an active application in the system and I told her it was because I liked my job and hadn’t planned to transfer anywhere else. When I worked over at the College of Dentistry, not only did I have an active application, I applied for a minimum of two transfer positions each WEEK. It took *two years* of doing that to get the job I have now.

She handed me the Benefits booklet that showed me how much I’ll have to pay through COBRA to keep my health insurance after June 30… $911.88 per month. PER. MONTH. I don’t even think I’d draw that much Unemployment per month! I’ll have to go on the dole! I’ll be standing by the mailbox on the third of every month, waiting for the mailman to deliver my check!

Sigh.

Later, she asked me into what sort of job I wanted to transfer. I told her I wanted a job making more money, being some department head’s personal assistant, so I can make all his travel arrangements and barber appointments and pick up his dry cleaning. She checked the listings. That job wasn’t on there. Oh, it WAS, but the salary range was thousands less per year, so I skipped it.

I had a real temptation to stop off at the liquor store on the walk back to the office. Instead, I stopped at the bookstore and bought a large bottle of mouthwash to drink. I can keep it on my desk, take swigs from it the rest of the day and no one will be the wiser. Plus, there’s that whole fresh breath bonus.

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