As a general rule, I go to the grocery store on Mondays after work. There’s a small Kroger on the way home and I’m so used to shopping there, I can make my list out by aisle.

In the very next block, there is an Enormo-Kroger… a massive affair with gas pumps, video rentals and U-Scan {alternatively titled the “Scan It Your Own Damn Self”} checkout lanes. Without fail and without explanation, I get lost in the bigger store. The layout is completely different, with the frozen food section in the middle, rather than at the far left. I end up wandering around and either forgetting to buy anything on my list or getting overwhelmed and buying everything off some display.

The last time I was there, Mr. Capp called my cell phone while I was in the cereal lane. I’d been gone so long, he wondered where I was. I was in a daze and said, “They have chocolate Lucky Charms” and he said, “Just because a cereal is covered in chocolate, doesn’t mean you have to buy it. Walk away from the cereal…”

Last night I went to the big store, because I needed gas and thought I’d use my shopper’s card for the 10 cent per gallon discount. It was so not worth the trouble, and not just because I found out they’d jacked their gas prices 21 cents higher than the station next door that *pumps the gas for you*. I got lost in the streaky bacon department and couldn’t find my way out.

In the end, I bought stuff that wasn’t on my list, forgot to buy stuff that WAS on the list, got lost again in the dairy lane before trekking across the entire store to the bread lane. Once I got to the bread lane, I discovered it was the fish stick lane, so I just gave up. I didn’t even use the U-Scan after all that… a mistake, since the bored bagger put my hot rotisserie chicken in the same bag with my seedless grapes. From now on, I’m sticking with the small Kroger.


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