I thought I’d leisurely go through my mail basket this morning, throw out all the junk and read the weekly paper. One letter had all the hallmarks of junk mail: an attempt at looking official by the use of Olde English Font for the return address; no stamp, just a “Presorted First Class” designation; and the ever popular words “Official Business” emblazoned on the front. I thought it was just another pitch to sell me life insurance.

Generally, I open junk mail because some of it turns out to be invoices for obscure stuff Mr. Capp has purchased. Instead of an invoice, though, I was greeted with, “Your name has been drawn by random selection, and you are being considered for jury service in the United States District Court”. I have to fill out a paper and return it within ten days (or else what, I’m not sure).

Now, I like jury duty as much as the next person, but the timing is bad. When I got called up for Circuit Court jury duty, I had a blast… I got countless numbers of PAID days off from work, got to walk up to the Courthouse, chit chat with the locals, loaf in the comfortable chairs, eventually get told the case had been settled, collect my jury lunch money and walk back home where I napped the rest of the afternoon. Sweet! Plus, Circuit Court mailed me a just paycheck just for showing up, which made it one of the better two months of my life. Not working + double paycheck + loafing = my idea of a good day.

Anyway, I just KNOW that I’ll actually get called after June 30, when I don’t even have a job. In which case, what’s the point? If I’m already AT home, it’s just not the same.


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