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Irate Customer: Your online catalog sucks. I can never find anything.

Me: I’m sorry there’s a problem. Tell me what you were looking up and I’ll help you find it.

IC: I shouldn’t have to call. You should have a user-friendly website. Not the crap website you have now.

Me: What sort of product were you looking for?

IC: What I’m looking for is a website from you that actually works and has everything you sell listed so I don’t have to call anyone there.

Me: We sell a whole lot of different products, and the web catalog is only a small sampling of what’s available. If you tell me what you’re looking for, I can even add it to the website right now, if you want.

IC: What I *want* is for your online catalog to list everything I can get from you and I *don’t want* to have to call and have anyone add anything.

Me: Well, we’re making a lot of dramatic changes to our current website. I suggest you check back on July 1 and see what you think of the new look.

IC: I’ll just DO that, then.

Me: Yeah, and if you’re still dissatified, please give me a call.

IC: I will! {hangs up}

Me: {smirk}

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