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We have a big box of DVDs to watch and still haven’t gotten through all of them. Last night, we picked Pearl Harbor, which neither of us had seen before. It was a good thing we started watching it around 8:30 in the evening, because the movie is nine hours long. Or so it seemed.

First of all, every scene with Ben Affleck’s big mouth drove me to distraction. Is the man cross-eyed? I can’t decide. He didn’t do anything to make me care about his character, so I wasn’t too upset when his plane crashed. The practical one said, “He’s not dead.” I asked how he knew for sure. “Because you don’t kill off the lead character this early.”

The actual surprise attack sequence was very interesting, given the level of US certainty that no one would use torpedoes in Pearl Harbor because it’s “too shallow”… a term which could also describe the acting ability of a certain male lead. If there’d been more focus on the Japanese strategy and reasons for the attack, it would have been a far more enjoyable film, since those were the best parts of all. I couldn’t get in to the whole love interest thing… even the sanitized rendering of the slaughter of the Pacific fleet was more believable. The only emotions evoked in me were interest in the history and sadness at the loss of so many lives.

After Roosevelt’s big speech, the screen displayed, “Insert Disc 2”. WTF?! There’s MORE to watch?? Well, I didn’t Insert Disc 2, and I’m not sure WHEN I’ll Insert Disc 2, either. I’d like to Insert Disc 2 into Ben Affleck and recast this movie.

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