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Upon clearing out more old work e-mail today, I uncovered the “Customer Questions” folder. Some of them are even funnier than the ones saved in my “Mails From Mother” folder. For example:

1) Can ram that came out of a Mac work in an intel PC?� The specs are the same.
2) By any chance, do you carry batteries for Compaq laptops?� It’s an AQ Armada 7800. And I need an Ethernet card for it.
3) Do you gift wrap?
4) Disregarding the formatting, are hard drives interchangeable between Mac’s and real PC’s?
5) I am looking for some computer-related job in your department or some assistantship. If you have any such openings, can you please let me know.
6) Back in late April of 2004, you had some Dell Otiplex GX270s that were overstocked. Wondering if those were still available?

Then there were two exchanges with a friend that works on the second floor:

DW: Can you get a NE2000?
Me: We have the Allied Telesyn 10BT ISA 16-bit Ethernet NIC RJ45 PNP NE2000 card in stock.
DW: It’s gotta be 8 bit compatible.
Me: What kind of 386 machine are you running? Anything that still needs an 8-bit card should be accidentally swept into the rubbish tip. Since it’s a relic, the museum prices will be high for curators like you.
DW: Shssshhhh. It might be a 286 running DOS 3.01.

DW: I would like to get a low profile AGP video card for my system. What can I get besides GeForce MX440? I would like more than 64 MB.

Me: There’s a 128MB GeForce FX5200 VGA/DVI adapter with Dual Monitor capabilities.

DW: I wrote to Dell and they said this: “There can only be one AGP port to a system, and all recent Dell integrated video adapters are AGP port devices. Therefore, any upgrade you purchase will have to be a PCI card that will fit in an available PCI slot. By default the PCI card will be configured as the primary adapter if you install one. ” I thought AGP was for digital output.� The built in card does not have a digital connection.� Since my monitor can support digital, I thought it would be better.

Me: Better than what? The integrated card is a Direct AGP 8x with analog input. That model can have an optional DVI adapter card added that uses the integrated video, but it sounds like you also want 128 MB of memory on board a separate card.

DW: SBC swears that there is an open AGP port in the CPU. I just thought that going digital would be better with a better card.

Me: According to Dell, the Small Form Factor has the following open slots: “Small Form Factor (SF) Chassis: 1 low-profile PCI, 1 low-profile 8XAGP”.

But, even though it HAS a slot, your mail from Dell indicates that you can only use one at a time, so it’s irrelevant if it has an open slot or not. If Dell put a doorbell on the case, it wouldn’t mean that you could use it for anything.

DW: You can get one with a doorbell now?

Me: …

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