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At a job interview for a tech support position yesterday, I realized just how long it had been since I’d worked in the private sector. For years and years, my employment experience has revolved around bureaucracy, political correctness, and suppression of free thought.

Me: Why did the last person leave this position?

Interviewer: We had to fire him because he was a dick.

Me: He had no people skills?

Interviewer: He was just a dick.

Me: …

Interviewer: He acted like that Saturday Night Live tech support guy and would just come in and tell people to move up out of their seat while he fixed whatever they messed up.

Me: I’m fairly certain I’d be able to provide better customer service for the company.

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