Monthly Archives: June 2005

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The salsa saga continues… after my second interview with a real estate investment firm this afternoon, I stopped at a Taco Bell for a burrito. Things were going well until I managed to spill a half-dollar sized blob of taco sauce on the front of my brand new white Jones-New-York-Never-Goes-On-Sale-So-You’re-Forced-To-Pay-Full-Price interview shirt.

I’m swearing off saucy things for the next few weeks until this spate of spillage subsides.

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This morning I interviewed a second time at an investment banking firm. I met no less than ten of the staff members with whom I’d be working. Everyone was professional and very polite, but one very blonde girl stood out in the crowd.

Her: So, where ye frum?

Me: Kentucky.

Her: I cud tale, ye know. Cuz ye got that accent.

Me: …

Her: Whar’d ye werk last?

Me: The University of Kentucky.

Her: Oh, they got a gret daince team.

Me: The Dance Cats?

Her: Yeah. We useta compete aginst ’em.

Me {Thinking – “This investment banking firm has a dance team??”}: Yes. They’ve won many awards, I think.

Her: Ah’m frum Nawth Carlina.

Me: …

Absolutely no one else commented on my obviously pronounced Kentucky accent. If only I’d thought to say something like, “When the fire truck drove past, I had to pull my car over to the berm”, she might’ve been convinced that I was from Ohio.

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At today’s job interview, I found out that the special police force which patrols the Fashion District in downtown Los Angeles really IS called The Fashion Police. I wonder why they haven’t made a Law & Order: FVU – Fashion Victims Unit series based on actual cases investigated by the LAFPD.

WWOTW 06/29/05


WWOTW 06/29/05
Originally uploaded by scooterdeb.

It’s time once again for Wednesday Wreck of the Week!

Observation: When someone decides to strip a Schwinn around here, they certainly know how to do a thorough job.

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In which my mother waxes philosophical on her parish priest: “Father can really polka!”

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Me: Oh, look… iMovie has a Ken Burns Effect you can apply to your projects.

Brian: Does that mean it renders your video clip worthy, but dull, so that people have to pretend they like it so they can appear intelligent and watch it when they’d rather be watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Me: …

Brian: Or does it mean that it stretches out your video clip for ten weeks and gives you a really bad haircut?

Me: Am I just going to have retitle my blog and call it “Brian Says”?

Brian: That’s the name of my other blog.

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What’s better than seeing The Arcade Fire in concert at the Hollywood Bowl? Why, seeing David Byrne in concert at the Hollywood Bowl on the SAME NIGHT! Sw00t!

CK {phone rings}: Hello?
Me: Guess where I am?
CK: Oh, stop it.
Me: I’m at the Hollywood Bowl.
CK: I hate you.
Me: The Arcade Fire just left the stage and David Byrne is next.
CK: I hope you rot in hell.
Me: If you want, I can leave the phone on during his set so you can hear the concert.
CK: Stop calling me.
Me: You sound angry and bitter.
CK: …

The woman in front of me decided to get up and dance halfway through the concert and after she’d polished off a few bottles. She didn’t want to stand by herself, so she forced her teenage daughter to get up. The daughter stood there and sent text messages on her phone.

I swear that if I ever have a teenage daughter and we’re at the same concert because I forced her to come with, I won’t make her get up and dance with me. As a corollary, if I ever have a teenage daughter and we’re at the same concert because I needed to be a chaperone for her and her friends, I won’t get up and dance at all. People of a certain age should show some restraint.

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At Islands this afternoon, I managed to pour salsa on no less than four surfaces at once. None of those surfaces included the taco I was trying to cover.