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Me: Did you see that Deep Throat finally outed himself?

He: That bastard. They should shoot him.

Me: He’s 91.

He: Right between the eyes. I hope he’s happy with himself. Sunk a president. Caused years of turmoil. And most of the information he gave was wrong, but he kept stirring the pot because he carried a grudge.

Me: I never figured he’d come forward.

He: He was mad because he was passed over for a promotion.

Me: What promotion?

He: He was J. Edgar Hoover’s best girl.

Me: …

He: So he thought he should take over when Hoover died. But Nixon picked someone outside the FBI.

Me: I can see how that might set a person off.

He: Nobody likes a snitch.

Me: Do you think this means the price of the All the President’s Men DVD will go up because there’ll be a buying frenzy at Tower today?

He: …

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