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I phoned in my weekly message to the employment agency to say that I was available to work all week. What was different about today was that they actually called back! The exact words were, “This job is at a New Age elementary school, so you shouldn’t wear anything that’s considered ‘too conservative’, but it should still fall under the realm of Business Casual.”

WTF?!

When I arrived at the school, I discovered that the bizarro dress code was the least of my concerns. The manic Colombian director was hopped up on espresso shots and kept swirling around the room, giving me bits of work to do, then leaving. Each time this happened, one of the regular staff would happen past, discover what I was doing, panic (because I wasn’t supposed to do “that” until “this” had been done) and reassign me to another function. Naturally, the director would flitter back out and ask if I was finished, and I’d have to tell her that the current project was on hold, if only for a moment.

Around 3 in the afternoon, the director’s husband called:

Husband: This is the director’s husband. I need to speak with her.
Me: I’m sorry, but she’s out of the office right now. Can I take a message for her?
Husband: Tell her that I’m picking our son up from school, so that she won’t have to bother. Tell her that I’ll meet her at the doctor’s office with him at 4. Then have her call my cell phone and confirm that she received this message.
Me: Does she have your number?
Husband: …
Me: [-_-]

When the director got back, I handed her the note. She placed it on the desk, borrowed my pen, wrote down her husband’s cell phone number and told me to call him back to confirm that she’d received the message. Sweet!

The gig was supposed to be just for today, but after I was able to convert someone’s Excel spreadsheet full of addresses into a set of mailing labels in Word, the director asked if I could work for her all this week. After I helped her make an endless supply of sticky masking tape loops so she could hang up a wall full of pictures, she asked if I could work for her through the end of the school year. I can’t say I haven’t worked for other high energy people who lack direction and/or focus, so I agreed to stay on as long as she needs me.

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