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Last night I dreamt that I was a reference librarian. I stood behind a long counter with a giant unabridged Oxford dictionary in front of me. People would come up to the counter with a word written on a slip of paper. I was supposed to look up the word and give the person the definition and pronunciation. Only, I didn’t give them the correct pronunciations.

A woman brought me a paper with the word doomed written in blue ink. I told her the definition was “imminent destruction” and that it was pronounced doo-med. The woman looked skeptical and asked me to use it in a sentence. I said, “The meteor is on a collision course with Earth. We are all doo-med.”

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