If I titled my posts, this one would say “Fresh Off the Turnip Wagon or Kentucky Girl at the Santa Monica DMV”… an homage to Rocky and Bullwinkle.

The scene: A huge lobby packed with people who are seated in hard plastic chairs on the linoleum floor.
The players: Me. The Lobby. A DMV Lady.

Act I

Me: {studies Road Rules booklet in preparation for written driver’s test}
The Lobby: {floor rumbles}
Me: {thinks, “They must be blasting up to the rock quarry.”}
The Lobby: {suspended signs shake}
Me: {thinks, “Wonder where there’s a quarry in downtown Santa Monica. Hey… there’s no quarry… that must’ve been… nah…}

Act II

Me: So, was that an earthquake?
DMV Lady: Yes. You haven’t felt one before?
Me: No… that was my first.
DMV Lady: Were you scared?
Me: Ummm… no.
DMV Lady: No? Why not?
Me: Because I thought it was just dynamite blasting at the local rock quarry.
DMV Lady: Bwa-hahaha!
Me: …
DMV Lady: Well, now you know. And here’s a tip. When you see shit falling off the walls, then you know it’s a big one and you need to take cover.
Me: I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.


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