Me: Hey, I’m walking on the sidewalk and this guy on a bicycle is pedaling straight towards me at high speed.

CK: You should get out of the way.

Me: He’s weaving all over the place. I don’t know which way to go, so I’ll just stand here.

Guy: {crashes bike into brick wall to my left}

Me: Man. Now he’s gonna start yelling at me for talking on the phone and not getting out of his way.

Guy: {ditches bike and takes off running down the alley}

Me: Oh, look… it’s like Trainspotting.

Police: {careen around corner and into alley with sirens blaring}

Me: It’s EXACTLY like Trainspotting.

CK: Are those helicopters I hear?

Me: Yeah. I think they’re taking artistic license with this scene.


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