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My mother handed me an article she said she’d cut out of the newspaper. The headline said that a woman could wear beige shoes with white slacks. I thanked her, folded up the article and set it on fire stuffed it in my purse.

Mother: I thought you could use that advice for what to wear at your new job.

Me: Thank you.

Mother: Isn’t that good to know? That beige shoes go with everything?

Me: I… I don’t have any white “slacks”.

Mother: But you could buy a pair of beige shoes.

Me: Did you cut this article out of Senior Citizen Weekly? Because I’m not going to wear beige shoes.

Mother: What if you’re wearing a navy blue skirt?

Me: I’d wear navy blue pumps.

Mother: What if you’re wearing a black skirt, then?

Me: You’re just toying with me, aren’t you? I’d better not see any beige shoes in my Christmas stocking this year.

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