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Me: The latest BBC America contest prize is a trip to London, $500 in spending money, and a chance to “party like you’re married to a footballer”.

Brian: Like you’re married to a footballer? Does that mean you’re lobotomized and you give your kids ridiculous names and get you beat up in bars in Paris?

Me: Under “Prize” in the Sweepstakes Rules, it says the trip is to “London, England, in Great Britain”. It’s nice of them to be specific like that.

Brian: Well, it’s aimed at an American audience.

Me: It also says all meals are the responsibility of the winner. How am I supposed to party like I’m the wife of a footballer if I’m counting out change in front of the chip wagon in the street?

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