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There’s a store on 4th Street in Santa Monica that offers “Natural Birth” and “Precious Stones”. Talk about your one-stop shopping! You could pick up an engagement ring AND have your baby all in the same visit.

Of course, if *I* worked there and a pregnant lady walked in, I’d have to go all Butterfly McQueen and start yelling, “Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ babies!” And then I’d be fired on the spot, but I wouldn’t leave before I looted the place. Then I’d drive home and make some more jam.

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