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At the ice cream place tonight, a small spider landed on the shoulder of the man in front of me. I considered my moral obligations.

1) Should I alert the man to the spider’s presence and risk him wigging out and smashing up the counter in a wild arachnophobic frenzy in order to flick the spider away?

2) Should I alert the man to the spider’s presence and risk him being a non-English speaker and then having to say “SPY-DUR” in a loud voice, in order for him to understand what I’m saying?

3) Should I smash the spider with my thumb and risk him having some sort of sensory motor integration deficit that would cause him to start wigging out and smashing up the counter if he’s touched from behind by a stranger?

4) Should I smash the spider with my thumb and risk him being a strict Buddhist and offending him by using his own body to break one of the Five Precepts?

In the end, I did nothing. I just walked away. I’m sure the spider’s family thanks me.

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