Monthly Archives: September 2005


Last night’s Neil Diamond concert at the Staples Center effectively doubled the number of concerts I’ve attended in my entire life. I’ve now seen as many concerts in Los Angeles as I ever did before moving here.

You know how at my old workplace, people were always making half-hearted gestures towards getting everyone together for an afterhours social event? And no one ever wanted to go, because they’d already spent 40 hours dealing with their insane co-workers over the last week?

Well, at my new workplace, when they say things like, “Here, have a free ticket to a sold out concert” and you find out the ticket is for an executive suite with a TV and a bar and couches and plush leather seats and a spectacular view of the stage, you can’t really say no. And if they give you five tickets and you find out that you can carpool with CCW, who has the VIP Parking Pass and an enormous Tahoe, it’s a difficult offer to pass up.

The suite was close enough for us to throw panties on to the stage. Or, it would’ve been close enough if my aim had been better. My throwing arm needs more practice.



The birthday person at work requested Rocky Road ice cream for their party. What an excellent choice! More of my co-workers should choose Rocky Road and skip asking for vanilla. I also think they should ask for some chocolate cake and quit getting the plain white cake. Considering how many times we have to eat cake each week, I think they should try to mix it up a little.


It’s time once again for Wednesday Wreck of the Week!

This week, my own Kit-Cat Clock was involved in what can only be described as a Hit-and-Run accident. If anyone out there has any information leading to the apprehension of the perpetrator of this heinous incident, please let me know. Your name will not be used.


For our morning party at work, there were cranberry/walnut muffins, hash browns, scrambled eggs, sausage and cinnamon sticky buns. Oh, and liberal amounts of champagne and organce juice.

Then, for our afternoon party at work, everyone was still stuffed from the morning’s smorgasbord, so we just had cake.


Text message from Marukan!

I’m on the bus… But I’m behind Euro-Skully McArmtattoo and his loyal entourage of losers. Today the graphic arts sub said, “I bet it rains worse in Tucknucky”. Talk about bad Ehngrish.


Visitors from the mysterious East turned up for the weekly Saturday night screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show!


When I was in Kentucky in July, my mother gave me an open bottle of lotion from Bath and Body Works. The scent was from their now-discontinued “Creamy Coconut” collection. After trying it a couple of times, I discovered why it had been discontinued. But, since the lotion itself was so swanky, I thought I’d be doing everyone a favor by taking it to work and adding it to the toiletries collection in the ladies’ room.

I sneaked it in and put it next to the sinks one day when no one was looking. It’s been a couple of weeks now, and all the women in the office have tried it at least once. Currently, the lotion level is stagnant, and the bottle sits there, unused, like a giant keg of Ranch salad dressing from Costco.

The only comment I’ve heard so far is, “That new lotion in the restroom… it’s a bit overly sweet smelling, isn’t it?” Now I’m wondering how long people will let it sit on the counter before someone just chucks the thing into the trash.


At the restaurant across the street from the office, the counter clerk tried to take my To Go order while talking on the phone. Good thing the order wasn’t for me, because there’s no telling if the sandwich was assembled correctly. What disturbed me was part of the call I could hear…

“No, don’t put me on hold. No, don’t take my name and number and have someone call me back. I’ve already done that and no one has called me back. This is a dire emergency and I need to speak with someone right now. Well, give me your supervisor, then. Look, when I say I need pest control, I mean it. I’ve seen things!”

I can only hope that she was calling in to an exterminator for her house…