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CK: Hello?

Me: I just thought I’d call you so I can share this moment with someone who’ll care.

CK: What are you doing?

Me: I’m rollerblading on the boardwalk in Venice.

CK: I’m putting this down as another reason I hate you.

Me: And now I’m rollerblading on the boardwalk in Venice while talking on a cell phone.

CK: Are you wearing cutoff shorts and a midriff-baring top?

Me: No, because I’m not a tourist.

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