Me: I just thought I’d call you so I can share this moment with someone who’ll care.
CK: What are you doing?
Me: I’m rollerblading on the boardwalk in Venice.
CK: I’m putting this down as another reason I hate you.
Me: And now I’m rollerblading on the boardwalk in Venice while talking on a cell phone.
CK: Are you wearing cutoff shorts and a midriff-baring top?
Me: No, because I’m not a tourist.