I came home from work early to find two homeless people having The Sex in my parking space. I didn’t want to disturb them, so I drove around front and parked in the street.
When I was outside later, one of the crazy neighbor ladies said, “Don’t go around back. There’s a man with no pants on and he’s walking around the parking lot. I was on my way to the laundry room when I saw him. At first, I thought he was wearing a pair of light-colored shorts. But then I saw he wasn’t wearing anything.”
Even later, I looked out the back window just in time to see Pantsless Man fill a cardboard box with some stuff, get on his bike and pedal away. I guess that’s one way to guarantee no one steals your bike.