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At the pharmacy:

Assistant: That’ll be $70.

Me: !!!

Assistant: What?

Me: What happened to the $10, $20 or $35 co-pay, like it says on the front of my pharmacy insurance card?

Assistant: You got two bottles, so that’d be $35 times two.

Me: I didn’t get two bottles to share and I didn’t get two months worth. This is one round of antibiotic treatment, so it shouldn’t matter if the doctor wrote the prescription for ten bottles.

Assistant: Here’s the printout from your insurance people that says we’re to charge you $70.

Me: That’s marvelous. What’s this “percentage” notation?

Assistant: Oh, they’re not using the $10, $20 or $35 co-pay option. They’re going with the 25% of the full price option.

Me: Then what’s the price of this stuff if I had no insurance?

Assistant: It’s real expensive.

Me: You’re saying that this antibiotic normally retails for $280?

Assistant: How’d you figure up that number?

Me: $70 times four.

Assistant: …

Me: 25% of $280 is $70. The price you’re charging me for this medicine.

Assistant: Umm… the retail price is $100…

Me: Then wouldn’t 25% of $100 be $25??

Assistant: Here’s the printout from your insurance people that says we’re to charge you $70.

Me: …

Assistant: …

Me: Can you ring up these four bags of Swedish Fish and this bottle of nail polish while I’m back here?

Assistant: No problem.