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Special Wacky E-mail Exchange With My Mother Edition!

Mother: When I was four years old I got my arm caught in the wringer of mother’s warshing machine. And a dog bit me.

Me: Where’d the dog bite you?

Mother: In the alley down back of our house.

Me: What were you doing in an alley when you were four?

Mother: Back 70 years ago alleys weren’t dangerous to walk through. Did you tell me one time you like to use Aqua Net hair spray?

Me: I have never used Aqua Net hairspray.

Mother: By the way, I went in that Kroger store that you said carries the Jerky you like. They had several brands there and I tried to see if any of them said Paris, Ky. but none of them did. I called you to see if you remembered the name of it, but I guess you was napping, it was around 4ish your time.

Me: Yes, I was asleep when you called three times, sent two urgent pages and left a high importance voice mail asking about the jerky. It’s Mingua Brothers jerky and they sell it off a rack back by the bacon.

Mother: They had a lot of the Oberta Jerky.

Me: Yeah, that’s not it. You could go back to the liquor store down the street from your house, since that’s where you bought it last time.

Mother: Hope your brother will come over tonight and try to unstop dad’s torlet. We both tried to plunger it last night with no avail. Neither one of us had enough hand pressure to push on the plunger. That’ll be exciting.

Me: Don’t you have that giant Extracto Plunger As Seen on TV?

Mother: Maybe he’ll bring the snake.

Me: What the heck do you people eat that you can clog a commode like that?

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