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On the phone with The Almighty Cthulhu:

Me: How’s work?

TAC: I work in a broom closet with two other guys and all this server equipment and the one guy just gets on my nerves. And he listens to the worst music ever recorded in the history of music. And he’s a band geek. So, today he was listening to a speed metal version of Phil Collins while banging on his desk and I lost it.

Me: What happened?

TAC: I said to him, “Look. I like your speed metal and your Phil Collins as much as anyone else does. But if you don’t stop banging on that desk, I’m going to chop off both your hands with a meat cleaver and you’ll be the no-handedness mother fucker on the UK drum line.” He suddenly remembered he had some important business to attend to in another part of the building.

Me: This is why you should have a blog.

TAC: I had one. People said it was too violent.

Me: …

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