Me: I can’t find my tights. Do you have a pair I could borrow?

Brian: Follow me.

Me: …

Brian: {walks down hall} Ah, yes. Here we are. {knocks on bookcase} {secret passageway opens}

Me: …

Brian: {turns tumbler} {throws back door of enormous vault} What color did you need?

Me: {temporarily blinded by light} {dazzled by vast array of tights in every Hue} Black.

Brian: Let me see. Color 1A. Right by the door. How many pairs would you like?

Me: Uh, just one, thanks.

Brian: Hue. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.


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