Monthly Archives: May 2006

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Marukan: You should get a tattoo.

Me: But of what?

Marukan: Wage, obviously.

Wage

Me: But where?

Marukan: You could have it on your shoulder. Or maybe on your lower back, but that’s tacky. Oh, I know! You could be in a HORRIFIC accident and have all your hair shaved off, then get your bald head tattooed with Wage’s picture.

Me: …

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I know I said I wasn’t going to push through the crowds of tourists at the beach today, but who among us can resist the lure of the sun, sand and water? It reminds me of Christmas Day.

Clowns to the left of me:
Venice Pier Memorial Day 2006

Jokers to the right:
Venice Beach Memorial Day 2006

Here I am, stuck in the middle with Diet Dew:
Venice Beach Memorial Day 2006

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Me: Why do we get Memorial Day off at work? It’s not even a proper holiday.

New Tech Guy: You do know that I’m a veteran, right?

Me: Were you in the shit?

New Tech Guy: Yeah. I was in the shit.

Me: What I *meant* was that Memorial Day should be MADE into a proper holiday by instituting a gift exchange. Yes, all veterans should receive presents on Memorial Day.

New Tech Guy: …

Me: And since you’re a veteran, you’re invited to our First Ever Memorial Day Party.

New Tech Guy: Do you have a barbecue?

Me: No, we don’t have a barbecue. It’s a BYOGFG party.

New Tech Guy: What’s that?

Me: Bring Your Own George Foreman Grill.

New Tech Guy: …

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Actual Los Angeles craigslist ads:

Huge Ikea shelf for sale! – $300

I’m being forced to move, and though I detest the thought, perhaps it would be best if I parted ways with my Ikea record shelf before the fact.

This thing is huge! Six feet by six feet, it will hold about 25 cubic feet of records–or for that matter books, CDs, Laserdiscs, religious tracts, muppets, or even overgrown larval bees who must nest upon royal jelly if they are to become the next queen of the hive! This thing will not break and will not let you down. And there’s not a scratch on it! These go for $500 new at Ikea, so $300 is a real steal!

Let me know if you are interested in picking this sucker up.

WANTED: worn panties, lingerie, shoes etc. – $50

I’m a submissive guy looking for ladies to sell me their worn panties, and other items. I pay $50 per pair for worn panties, lingerie, pantyhose and some shoes. Please tell me what you have.

LOST – I lost my glasses at the beach and I’m blind as a BAT!

So I got drunk and went skinny dipping with strangers, lots of grab-ass, new friends were made, and everyone left happy, even me without my glasses at 3am somewhere in the sand. They’re gold oval lenses and wire rimmed. I don’t imagine ever seeing them again, but this is just worth a shot.

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The new guy is already getting in to trouble.

Naughty!

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While playing Spyro: A Hero’s Tail:

Marukan: Why do you play this all the time? It’s a game for small children.

Me: No, it’s not.

Marukan: Dude. You’re playing as a BABY DRAGON.

Me: …

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Happy Birthday shoutout to CK! w00t!

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A new roommate has just arrived!

A New Arrival!

It’s always good to get a Wage increase.

The Gang's All Here