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Today is the one-year anniversary of my arrival in LA. To celebrate, I had this conversation with a local panhandler.

Him: Are you a Scorpio?

Me: No.

Him: Do you have a dollar?

Me: No.

Him: Are you a Scorpio?

Me: No.

Him: That’s a great color on your nails.

Me: Thanks.

Him: Are you a Scorpio?

Me: No.

Him: Do you have that color on your toes, too?

Me: No.

Him: Are you a Scorpio?

Me: No.

Him: If you aren’t a Scorpio, what are you?

Me: Aquarius.

Him: Of COURSE! That’s why you’re all independent and like to try new things.

Me: …

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