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Special Late Night Wacky Phone Call With My Mother Edition!

Me {in bed}: Hello?

Mother {frantic}: Are you awake?

Me: Yes. What’s the matter?

Mother {even more frantic}: What time is it there?

Me: It’s still three hours earlier than whatever time it is there. What’s the matter?

Mother {almost maniacal}: I. Am. About. To. Have. A. Nervous. BREAKDOWN!!

Me: What in God’s holy name are you blathering about?!

Mother: I can’t get my email to work!!!!!

Me: …

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