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Actual Los Angeles craigslist ads:

Huge Ikea shelf for sale! – $300

I’m being forced to move, and though I detest the thought, perhaps it would be best if I parted ways with my Ikea record shelf before the fact.

This thing is huge! Six feet by six feet, it will hold about 25 cubic feet of records–or for that matter books, CDs, Laserdiscs, religious tracts, muppets, or even overgrown larval bees who must nest upon royal jelly if they are to become the next queen of the hive! This thing will not break and will not let you down. And there’s not a scratch on it! These go for $500 new at Ikea, so $300 is a real steal!

Let me know if you are interested in picking this sucker up.

WANTED: worn panties, lingerie, shoes etc. – $50

I’m a submissive guy looking for ladies to sell me their worn panties, and other items. I pay $50 per pair for worn panties, lingerie, pantyhose and some shoes. Please tell me what you have.

LOST – I lost my glasses at the beach and I’m blind as a BAT!

So I got drunk and went skinny dipping with strangers, lots of grab-ass, new friends were made, and everyone left happy, even me without my glasses at 3am somewhere in the sand. They’re gold oval lenses and wire rimmed. I don’t imagine ever seeing them again, but this is just worth a shot.

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