Monthly Archives: August 2006

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In which two nine-year old boys wax philosophical:

LB: The place I’d second-most like to visit is Toiletville.

Friend: Haha!

LB: The place I’d most like to visit is heaven.

Friend: Aren’t they the same place?

LB: In heaven they give you a harp.

Friend: And a bow and arrow.

LB: No, they don’t.

Friend: Oh, wait. They give you the bow and arrow in hell.

LB: No, in hell they give you an accordion.

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Reasons I flew United Airlines for the first time ever:

1) Southwest Airlines says its prices are so low, you don’t NEED a bereavement fare.

2) Delta Airlines apologizes, but says they don’t offer bereavement fares between Los Angeles and Louisville.

Reasons I won’t connect at O’Hare ever again:

1) Flight delays to the point of absurdity.

2) Multiple gate changes across different concourses.

3) Only one snack stand stocked with Diet Mt. Dew.

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As always, the harsh reality is that the sun keeps shining and the world keeps spinning, no matter what happens in your life.

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Desk o' Plenty

Treat Williams…

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Yeah, so if you’re driving in LA and your iPod is hooked up to your car stereo and you’ve got the winders rolled down and Iggy Pop is Nightclubbin’, you should probably take it off the “Shuffle Songs” setting.

Because then, when you’re at a light and Alison Krauss comes on with her Fast Fiddle and Banjo Tune, everyone in all the surrounding cars will look knowingly at your Kentucky license plates and pity the poor tourist.

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It seemed like a good day for some Geocaching, so a friend and I walked out to see if we could find a new one that had been placed at the end of our street. While we DID locate N 33� 59.132 W 118� 28.381, we had constant company and couldn’t look for the hidden item in question. We left and went to the end of Venice Pier to watch the sunset and then came back to the cache site.

My friend was very excited, as this was his first find ever!

N 33� 59.132 W 118� 28.381

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The Loud Stereo Neighbor was at it again this morning. Maybe his hearing has gone and that’s why he needs to turn up the volume on his Freddie Mercury Tribute CD.

He was standing outside when the police showed up. Since my door was open, I got to hear the exchange.

LSN: Too loud?

Cop #1: Your stereo is too loud.

LSN: {incomprehensible monologue that sounds like it might be English}

Cop #2: Er, you need to turn down the volume on your stereo, sir.

LSN: {garbled Liverpudlian rant}

Cop #1: Thank you.

As the officers walked back past my door:

Cop #1: I couldn’t understand a word he said. What was that?

Cop #2: Maybe he’s Irish.

Cop #1: He could be a member of the IRA.

Me: …

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Marukan and I saw a large sign that said, “Fabulous Fiber Fest”, so we thought we’d investigate.

We were briefly disappointed to discover that the Civic Auditorium wasn’t hosting a Metamucil convention. Instead, we found a lot of ladies and alpacas wearing handmade clothes. I’m guessing the alpacas didn’t weave those bandanas themselves.

The weaving demonstration ladies lured Marukan over with promises of loom magic and told her she had a natural touch. She’s crafty like that. After trying out three different looms, Marukan noted that she would’ve been the weaving Chill Master in the 17th century.