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Outside on the street, a woman in a Mercedes SUV was yelling at a man in a window. Nonstop for twenty minutes, she called out a string of obscenities at him while carrying on a cell phone conversation about him. She colorfully told him and the person on the other end of the pink Razr phone {and everyone else on the block, since we’d all gathered ’round to watch – better than television!} all the ways in which he’d wronged her. Some of these ways included:

– Being a crossdressing cokehead
– Driving their son around with that ugly bitch new girlfriend of his
– Wearing panties and making her paint his toenails
– Burning out a hole in his nose from constant coke snorting
– Failing to give her more money
– Refusing to answer her phone calls

The last thing I heard her say was, “The PO-leece are here. I’ma hafta call you back.”

Footnote 1: The police weren’t called by any of the bystanders, but by the man in the window.
Footnote 2: The police who showed up weren’t the same officers who busted up the U2 concert last night.

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