Monthly Archives: September 2006


How’s this for uncoordinated?

I decided to make a call on my cell phone and went out to the car to get a Diet Mt. Dew to sip while chatting. I had the open can in my left hand and the phone in my right as I walked through the parking lot. As I received confirmation that the handcuffs story was true, my left foot tripped over a rock, and I went down on my right knee.

While splayed, I righted the can to minimize Dew loss, retrieved the phone from where it had gotten flung, noticed the giant rip in my jeans at the knee, and continued the conversation.

After we finished talking, I came back in to the bathroom, cleaned out the asphalt from the bloody wound, then sprayed something called “Liquid Bandage” on it. I plan to write a sternly worded letter to the Liquid Bandage people to suggest they change the name of their product to “Liquid Fire” or “Spray-On Wound Acid” or “Aerosol Scream Inducer”.

I limped back to the medicine cabinet and got a proper bandage out and put that on through the hole in my pants.



Ninja Wage wants a radio upgrade.

Walkie Talkie Wage



It is what it is.


Baby Wage found today’s Geocaching loot at N 33� 59.359 W 118� 26.791.

N 33� 59.359 W 118� 26.791

Best cache container ever!


On the Geocaching front, I searched for a multi-cache starting at N 34� 00.923 W 118� 26.809. That was no problem to locate, but the subsequent find with the loot took so many visits that Wage was put on staff as a plane spotter.

N 34� 00.923 W 118� 26.809


LB: Which movie is this?

Me: Return of the Jedi.

LB: I know. I mean, which episode is this?

Me: Episode VI.

Brian: No, it’s the third episode.

Me: The third episode is Revenge of the Sith.

Brian: No, that’s the sixth episode.

Me: No, Episode VI is what we’re watching.

{lather, rinse, repeat, wipe hands on pants}


Were y’all at the Abbot Kinney Festival today? Because… man… it seemed like everyone on the planet was there.

Except for the pirate shoppe. In place of the pirate shoppe were a large number of stalls devoted to clothing for children and dogs. The kitten sushi kiosk had tofu robot t-shirts, but I skipped buying one. Instead, I spent $3 total for two necklaces and a pair of earrings at the funkadelic jewelry emporium. I also got started on my Christmas shopping at the Hawaiian shirt tent. Everyone who e-mailed me their sizes in advance will be getting a special package from me this holiday season.

Abbot Kinney Festival 2006

Fall is such a great season in Venice. Mostly because it’s exactly like summer.


Celebrity Dream:

Morrissey standing in my bedroom doorway singing Asleep.