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Our man on the street interviewed some local urchins to determine their reactions to the first day of school:

High school sophomore – “Half the freshman class are herms. I couldn’t tell for sure if this one kid was a boy or a girl at all.”

Seventh-grader – “The sixth graders are all short. They look like they should be in fifth grade.”

Fourth-grader – “My teacher is mean. She gave everyone candy. She’s so organized, she gave us folders. She said if we were small enough and flexible enough, she’d fold us up and put us into folders, put the folders in our desks and then take us back out again in the morning. I couldn’t sleep like that.”

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