Actual work conversation:

Me: Man, this letter is wearing me out. I’m trying to make it all fit on one page, but the Sincerely and CC: sections keep wandering off to the second page.

Co-Worker: Use the “Fit on Page” button.

Me: There’s no “Fit on Page” button in Word.

Co-Worker: Yes, there is.

Me: Where?

Co-Worker: {browses through all possible menu options} Hmmm… I’m sure it’s there. Call the Help Desk.

Me: …

Co-Worker: Seriously, call the Help Desk. They’ll know.

Me: I’m not calling the Help Desk to ask about a non-existent Word feature. I’ll just scale back the font and adjust the margins a bit. And we’ll never speak of this again.


Co-Worker: You know what? It was WordPerfect that had the “Fit on Page” option.

Me: …


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