Monthly Archives: October 2006

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On Friday, a woman at work brought in a plastic Halloween pumpkin, filled it with assorted candy and placed it on her desk. Within an hour, the pumpkin was empty, so she refilled it. Within two hours, the pumpkin AND the refill bag were both empty.

In desperation, she refilled the pumpkin with sugar packets, thus cutting out the middleman.

This morning, the pumpkin was empty.

Now we have seen the depths to which some people will sink.

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Wage is a big Cary Grant fan. He petitioned a major motion picture studio to star him in a remake of North by Northwest, with the agreement that there be no blue screen work and that he be allowed to do all his own stunts.

The studio has agreed to release two stills from the yet-to-be-released feature film, North by Northwage.

***ATTN: SPOILER WARNING!***

In this first shot, we see Wager O. Thornhill running away from the biplane.

North by Northwage

And in this second shot, the biplane crashes in to the fuel truck.

Wager O. Thornhill narrowly escapes disaster

I can’t wait until opening night!

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FNG: I grew up in Cyprus.

Me: {punches FNG in the leg} Red Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

FNG: Did you just make the insult of me?

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Why I can never take Marukan anywhere:

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Yellow Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Red Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Gunmetal gray Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Black Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Silver Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Mylanta blue convertible Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Red Punchbuggy with flames painted on the side, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Dark blue Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} White Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Green Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Yet another yellow Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Yet another black Punchbuggy, no tradebacks.

Marukan: …

Me: {punches Marukan in the leg} Oooh! Look! A Spadiddle, no tradebacks!

Marukan: {launches into an arm-flailing, obscenity-laced outburst that ends with} Get out of the car!

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At last night’s concert, I was very glad that I wasn’t sitting behind a fish wearing a fro wig.

Can you see the stage? Am I in your way?

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Dude, so Baby Wage and I were out Geocaching, because, you know, we have nothing better to do, and we found THIS at N 34� 00.000 W 118� 27.949!

N 34� 00.000 W 118� 27.949

Yeah. If we’d left work early, we’d have been the First to Find, but as it was, we had to settle for Third to Find.

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Wage and I went to see Bonnie “Prince” Billy tonight at McCabe’s Guitar Shop.

We waited around after the show. I wasn’t sure if we were allowed to approach the talent, but we made our way through the crowd anyway. When my turn came, I was all, “Hey”, and he was all, “Hey”, and I was all, “Can I have my picture taken with you?” and he was all, “Sure”, and I was all, “I’m from Louisville, too” and he was all, “Oh, sorry” and I was all, “Oh, I *know*, but I live here now” and he nodded his head and I handed him Wage and asked, “Can you hold this?”

Wage wants to be a Palace Brother

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An evening out at the Pacific Dining Car requires one to dress in suitable attire.

Suitable Attire

I ordered the prime rib, mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus. There was a tie-wearing guy across from me who ordered the chicken, no tomatoes (obviously).

I think the steak looked remarkably similar to my waiter…

This is my late cousin

…I suspected foul play.

After several glasses of iced tea, I returned to my roots in flush photography.

Please do not flush when train is in station