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The New Guy Learns Jive – A Play in One Act

Dramatis person�:

TECH GUY, the office cynic who has held the same job for years
NEW GUY, recently relocated from an island nation (not Ireland)
ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN, interchangeable buffoons

At RISE: (An office break room. Lunchtime. TECH GUY and NEW GUY seated with assorted Crapperware littering the table.)

NEW GUY: It would cost $1200 to buy an airline ticket to fly home.

TECH GUY: Since you’re staying in town, will you be at work?

NEW GUY: Nah.

(ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN fling open the door and rush in to the room)

R&G: Hey, NEW GUY, I’m glad to see that you’re eating a salad.

NEW GUY: What?

R&G: I said, I’m glad to see that you’re eating a salad… ’cause you look like you’re growing a bit of a pooch there. (snickers)

NEW GUY: Well, at least I don’t have to get on the treadmill as soon as I get home. Like you do.

TECH GUY: No, no, no. The proper response is always, “Yo Mamma!”

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