Wage and Green Wage auditioned for the lead roles in the upcoming film Wages on a Plane. After four hours in makeup and wardrobe, here we see Green Wage as Wage and Wage as Green Wage.
After the auditions, we went to visit Aunt CK in the frozen tundra that is Central Kentucky. There were people standing around outside in five-degree weather, like they were impressing anyone with their ability to breathe in that Arctic air without their lungs collapsing.
The first place she took us was Waffle House (known locally as “Awful House”) and I had to ask her what that stuff was all over the toast. She said it was “butter”. There sure was a lot of it!
Waitress: Can I take yer drink order?
CK: I’ll have a sweet tea.
Me: You can order your tea already sweetened?
Me: What’s it sweetened with? Splenda?
CK: No, it’s sweetened with sugar.
Me: Sugar?! I didn’t even know they were still making that!
Me: I’ll have a glass of that melted butter.
CK: Your head has been baked by that California sun.
I noticed that all the staff were clad from head to toe in UK hats, sweatshirts, track pants, earrings, bracelets, shoe laces, etc. and I asked CK if there was a game on that evening. She said she didn’t know, but that those people always dressed like that – game or no.
Then she “thanked” me for giving her my old UK jacket, because now she was always having to answer the question, “Is there a game on tonight?” I thought for sure anyone would have to be wearing more than one article of UK apparel to be classified as a “fan” who might know about the athletics schedule.
The cashier was wearing a hat with the UK logo illuminated by mini-lights. CK said that was a nice look, until a battery mishap occurred and the hat lights burned through her skull.
Fueled by the butter and sugar, we drove to CK’s place to play in the snow. The guys were going to build a snowwage, but thought better of it once they actually set foot on the white stuff.