Yo ho ho and a bottle of death

Three actual bus stop conversations I’ve had since the price of gas went to $3.25 per gallon:

Uno:

Guy: Are you a sailor?
Me: No.
Guy: You have a pirate lunchbox.
Me: Yes.

Dos:

Guy: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure.
Guy: Have you ever been in love with someone and then the relationship goes bad, or really, it isn’t your fault, but they fall out of love and you’re still in love with them and they don’t want you anymore and you chase them across the country and you show up at their house and ask to see them and their mother tells you they aren’t home, but you can hear them talking and laughing in another room, so you know you’re being lied to, and all you want is to return their stuff, or at least the stuff you haven’t burned and they won’t speak to you and you wait outside their house just to talk to them but they call the police and get a restraining order and then…
Me: No hablo ingles.

Tres:

Guy: Good morning.
Me: Good morning.
Guy: Sure, them clothes make you look wile dootsy, so they do, hi.

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5 responses to “Yo ho ho and a bottle of death

  1. oh good. so you’ve found someone to replace me in morning conversations. Nice!

  2. Dos. Been there, done that.

  3. Hurr hurr hurr. I like this post a lot.

  4. So Brian gets the same bus as you.

  5. It was the second conversation that was the big clue, right?

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