Sister, that dress is headed for trouble and it’s taking you with it

You know those pantyhose that claim to massage your legs all day long, so as to leave you feeling invigorated and refreshed? What they really mean is that they are 38% tighter around your legs than non-invigorating hosiery. Trying to put them on is like stuffing a sausage casing.

At the bus stop this morning, an older Asian lady in jeans and a sweater came up to me and said, “Excuse me… you may think my question strange… but you are dressed so beautifully. In what profession do you work?” I told her I had a job interview.

After the interview, I came home to change out of my suit and pit-soaked shirt so that everyone at work doesn’t bombard me with, “Did you have a job interview??” throughout the day.

I hate interviews. I always imagine that I’m sitting on a shelf with the other candidates and the hiring officials are picking us up and reading our labels to see which they should choose.

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9 responses to “Sister, that dress is headed for trouble and it’s taking you with it

  1. You know those pantyhose that claim to massage your legs all day long, so as to leave you feeling invigorated and refreshed?

    Know them? I’m wearing a pair today, so I am.

  2. so hey, what does your label say?

  3. i always imagine them severing a finger as they open up the selected tin

  4. no. i don’t really

  5. Dare I say, GOOD LUCK!

    I just have to add… on the pantyhose subject. I am tall (5’9″) and no matter WHAT those friggin’ things say, they are NOT made for tall people. So… think about how much fun they are to wear when the crotch is half-way to your knees. Yeah. I’m so glad I don’t have to wear them daily anymore – just occasionally, like weddings, funerals, you know…

  6. they are NOT made for tall people

    The heck you say; I never have any trouble finding hosiery that fits.

  7. Brian… don’t make me come over there!

  8. Brian… don’t make me come over there!

  9. I love interviews. I wish I had more opportunities to talk about myself and why I’m so much better than other people.

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