Bus Stop Guy: What time is it?
Me {resists urge to say, “Ten to”}: Quarter ’til.
Bus Stop Guy: How do you know that? You didn’t look at your watch.
Me: I looked at your watch.
If everything had a point, there’d be no place to sit
This blog will not remove moles, scars, glass glare or "fly-away" hair.
Patty-slapped by the zeitgeist.
Newspapers placed on private property shall not be deemed to be litter provided they are deposited in such a manner as to prevent their being carried away by the elements and are removed within a reasonable time thereafter.
No person shall keep more than thirteen fowl of any sort within the City, unless such person shall have first obtained a permit from the Humane Officer so to do.Frequently Unanswered Questions (like, why are all your stories told out of context?)
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Cheaper Than Therapy 
‘qaurter til’? as opposed to ‘quarter to’? oo-er…
Pretty sneaky there…