Two words: closed casket

If you were fifteen-years old, how would you prefer to die of embarrassment?

1) Because your mother sang all the hymns in church loudly and off-key in front of everyone.

2) Because your mother drove her thirteen-year old car while wearing her robe and pink fuzzy slippers and dropped you off at school in front of all your friends.

3) Because your mother called the police at one in the morning to physically remove your completely intoxicated nineteen-year old, concealed-switchblade-carrying, dope-smoking tagger “friend” of two weeks with a criminal record, who was barely conscious when you brought him home from the beach and who has been blacked out on the living room couch for two full hours in front of your younger brother and sister.

Dude, I’d choose 1.


13 responses to “Two words: closed casket

  1. My head says (a) but my heart says (e).

  2. i’d say all of the above, and that that was one cool mother. i hope i can match this one day, but, we’re so not worthy!

  3. I say two – my father once picked us up from school in a car with a bale of straw in the back – and he talked to one of the teachers! When I get a therapist I’ll be spending the first 10 sessions talking about this event.

  4. Ganching must have had a wile redner, hi!

  5. It was desprit so it was – I was like a beetroot!

  6. I think it depends on whether or not mom got out of the car in the pink slippers….
    No. You’re right.

  7. now that i think about it, there was the time i was walking to school with friends and the dad happened to drive by on his way home from work. he pulled up to say hi but all my friends screamed at me not to get in the car, because he still had his overalls on. he used to work in a slaughterhouse back then, innit. but then i thought it more cool and funny than embarassing.

  8. The Almighty Cuthulu


  9. Hmmm… around here 1 and 2 happen all the time. 3… not so much. So far, my kids all survived being 15.

  10. Ya already know my take on this…

  11. It’s a wonder anyone survives past adolescence.

    For a NUMBER of reasons.

  12. It would have to be #1, I think. But I have other reasons for being long-dead of embarrassment. They were all my own fault.

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