She’s the kind of girl you bring home to Mother… if Mother is a cigaretty, retired hooker

I was thinking of Ganching’s comment that my next foreign visit should be to Norn Iron. Alas, there are at least two existing reasons that prevent my travel to that exotic locale.

1) My apprehension that I will be unable to understand the speech of the native peoples.

2) My apprehension that I will be unable to locate a shop that sells Cuban cigars.

These are the deciding factors that figure in to all of my foreign travel considerations.

Also, I have no six-foot inflatable penis to carry around as I walk through the Derry City Centre. I’d feel so awkward and out of place!

Best just to keep saving my money for that trip to Budapest.

Advertisements

3 responses to “She’s the kind of girl you bring home to Mother… if Mother is a cigaretty, retired hooker

  1. Well you could always visit Ballymena first – I’m sure you can buy anything there, so you can. I would also be prepared to give you some coaching on the irritable vowel syndrome that afflicts all of us from the Six Counties to help you understand us better.

  2. There is in fact a Cuban-themed bar in Derry. I’m not sure about the availability of cigars, but there are plenty of people in said establishment who will quite happily sell you exotic smoking materials.

  3. You could skip all that, and come to CANADA!

    We speak the same language…albeit with a few small quirks and tweaks. AND we have Cuban cigarrs galore! Everywhere! Granted, you can’t smoke them ANYWHERE…but you can buy allllll you like!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s