This may well become a regular feature, but for now, I present PART TWO of:
If you were fifteen-years old, how would you prefer to die of embarrassment?
1) Because your mother walked out of the Dean of Students office carrying the belt made of rifle bullets you had been wearing at school until the authorities noticed it and told you to remove it, and she passed right in front of all your friends.
2) Because your mother asked your waiter at P.F. Chang’s if his own butt or a stunt butt was used during the filming of Seraphim Falls, and she was heard by everyone in the restaurant.
3) Because your grandmother bought you a plane ticket to visit her, but she told the airline that you were thirteen-years old, so the ticket agent gave you a very large fluorescent “Unaccompanied Minor” sticker to wear on your chest while your personal escort walked you past everyone in the airport.