Well, listen Mister – someday, there’s going to be a flying rocketeer behind you who’s going to shoot back

Today was just chock full of disappointment.

Five new temps started, so I had to put up with a lot of nervous people milling around pretending to work. None of them offered to go get breakfast, lunch, coffee or ice cream for the boss – or me! I set up a spreadsheet to track my parimutuel system. Win, place, show, exacta and superfecta bets will be accepted c/o my In Box.

While I was waiting at a red light, I saw a station wagon pull out of a gas station parking lot and into the path of a large truck. Both drivers slammed on their brakes and a collision was averted. But the truck driver felt like altercating. I turned down the radio and rolled down the window to get a better view of the inevitable fisticuffs.

Truck: You sonofabitch! Why don’t you watch where you’re going?
Station Wagon: {gives truck driver “the finger”}
Truck: Dammit! {gets out of truck and strides over to station wagon driver’s window}
Station Wagon: {fumbles with window but manages to close it in time}
Truck: I’mo fuck you up!
Station Wagon: {opens cell phone and dials a number}
Truck: {walks around to open passenger window} I’mo fuck you up!!
Station Wagon: {blows cigarette smoke at truck driver while closing passenger window}
Truck: I’mo fuck you up!!!!
Station Wagon: {gives truck driver “the finger”}
Truck: {shakes fist}

And that was it! I sat through three green lights and there was a complete absence of anyone getting fucked up. What’s this world coming to when you can’t even be assured of seeing a random street beating and/or shanking during your drive home from work?

I’d have taken an exacta bet with the truck driver to win.

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2 responses to “Well, listen Mister – someday, there’s going to be a flying rocketeer behind you who’s going to shoot back

  1. The Almighty Cuthulu

    Man, thats fucked up. The Almighty Cuthulu has spoken.

  2. What? No pictures?

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