Santa Monica’s number of abandoned couches has reached epidemic proportions.
Seriously, street sofas are junking up the place.
When I first moved here, I thought it was real friendly of the citizenry to have all these cozy seats installed at every corner in case you wanted to catch your breath during your evening of Nordic Walking. Then I found out that the average Santa Monican has 2.5 couches and is usually in the process of buying a newer couch, so the older ones have to go somewhere.
Enter the Illegal Alley Dumping concept.
It works like this:
1) Wait until the dark of night.
2) Check to make sure no neighbors are watching.
3) Remove couch from living room.
4) Sneak down the alley behind your residence.
5) Drop couch – preferably in an alley a block over, and certainly never behind your own residence.
6) Dash home and hope your couch will have disappeared by morning.
Some of the couches are in great shape. The only thing that keeps me from relocating one in to my own place is that you never know who has already peed on them.