How I Spent My Thanksgiving

While everyone else in the United States was flying across the country or driving for hours or desperately defrosting the turkey for 27 invited family members that they’ll speak to with barely disguised seething rage through clenched teeth but they wouldn’t dare skip seeing out of the year-long induced guilt trip that would result, I did the following:

I) Slept until noon.
II) Lounged on the couch for a couple of hours with my dusty Balzac.
III) Long shower.
IV) Around 3:30, rang up China Wok and asked for three orders of chicken fried rice and one order of chicken chow mein to be delivered.
V) Once the food arrived, artfully arranged the included plastic tableware next to everyone’s foil pan of food.
VI) Three hour nap.
VII) Watched MST3K episode of Starfighters with the The United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus.
VIII) Watched JFK, which is one extraordinarily lengthy film and should be started before 10 PM if you want to go to bed before 3 in the morning. Just FYI for next year, is all I’m sayin’.


3 responses to “How I Spent My Thanksgiving

  1. I vote for this to be the national thanksgiving protocol. Except #VII – I want to watch trashy reality tv.

  2. That sounds like a perfect day, think I might suggest that to the kids for Christmas! Can’t see them going for it though

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