As I approached the grocery store ATM, a disturbed Englishman rushed over to tell me that the machine was broken. I nodded and ignored him, inserted my card, tapped in my PIN, selected the “$40 cash withdrawal” option, and retrieved the two bills.
The Englishman stood there with his mouth hanging open. He managed to say, “They said the machine was broken”. I looked at him, but said nothing.
I took my card out of the slot once it was returned and this guy actually grabbed my hand in order to turn it over while he said, “How did you put your card in, then?”
I wanted to say, “Look, Pedro, I don’t know how they do things down in Juarez, but here in LA, we have a little something called Concealed Carry, understand?” but I was too busy try to work out his accent as he talked to the machine and tried to convince it to dispense some dollars.
In the end, I scored seventy-five cents and a blue button from the return slot at the Coinstar.
Cheaper Than Therapy 
Hey welcome back.
Oh, see? That thing you did? That’s ’cause you’re a woman… 😉